Sibling relationships often involve a healthy dose of teasing and roasting. While these playful jabs can strengthen the bond between brothers, finding the right way to respond can be challenging. You want to dish it back without escalating the situation or causing hurt feelings.
When your brother starts roasting you, your first instinct may be to fire back with an insult of your own. However, this will likely only make the situation worse and possibly damage your rapport. A better approach is to acknowledge the roast with humor and subtlety rather than reacting aggressively.
The problem with reactive comebacks
When your brother throws an insult your way, it’s natural to want to fire one back. However, reactive comebacks often do more harm than good. They turn the exchange into an escalating argument or fight. As frustrating as it is, staying calm and responding thoughtfully is the best approach.
33 Clever Comebacks to Roast from Your Brother
- Nice try, but you’ll have to do better than that
- That’s the best you got?
- Ouch, my feelings
- Is that the best your two brain cells could come up with?
- You’re not funny, stop trying
- If you’re done embarrassing yourself…
- You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?
- Are we still on that? Let it go.
- Oh brother…
- Was that an attempt at humor?
- Bless your heart, you tried
- You’re adorable when you think you’re funny
- Keep practicing, maybe one day
- You’re hilarious, I forgot to laugh
- New material, please
- That’s cute, but weak
- You’ll have to break out the index cards next time
- I’m disappointed, I expected more
- Wow, you almost got me that time
- Maybe next time champ
- Sorry, my sarcasm detector must be broken
- Your jokes are about as funny as a root canal
- Must’ve taken all night to come up with that zinger, huh?
- Cute, but it looks like the humor gene skipped you
- Wow, you really put a lot of thought into that one, didn’t you?
- I’m not even mad, I’m impressed you can string that many words together.
- Thanks for the feedback, I’ll be sure to keep it in mind the next time I care what you think.
- Ooh, someone’s been practicing their roasting skills. Keep it up and you might actually be funny someday.
- Wow, I didn’t know we were doing stand-up comedy tonight. You should take that act on the road.
- Ooh, someone’s been spending too much time on Reddit. That roast was almost as lame as the memes you send me.
- Wow, you really put a lot of effort into that one. I’m almost impressed.
- Wow, someone’s been working on their comedy routine. Keep it up and you might actually get some laughs someday.
- Ooh, someone’s been spending too much time on the internet. That roast was almost as lame as the memes you send me.
Explanations
1. Nice try, but you’ll have to do better than that
This response playfully challenges your brother to up his game next time. It lets him know his attempt at a roast fell flat while still leaving the door open for future joking. The phrase “you’ll have to do better than that” displays confidence his insults don’t land.
It asserts you’re not bothered and turns it back around on him as the less clever one. Use this for brushing off low-effort roasts that require no defense.
Example usage:
Brother: “Maybe if you spent less time playing video games, you’d get a date.”
You: “Nice try, but you’ll have to do better than that.”
2. That’s the best you got?
A direct challenge like “that’s the best you got?” questions if he can really do better next time. It gets your confident message across in only five words. The brief response avoids prolonged engagement yet prompts him for improvement.
Much like “you’ll have to do better than that”, it shifts focus back on his performance needing work. Only use this response if you can pull it off lightheartedly between you two.
Example usage:
Brother: “Nice hair, who cut it, Stevie Wonder?”
You: “That’s the best you got?”
3. Ouch, my feelings
Responding “Ouch, my feelings” in an exaggerated dramatic hurt tone treats his attempt at an insult as so silly it doesn’t require a real rebuttal. The over-the-top delivery signals you find it amusing rather than offensive.
It pokes fun at how his words don’t genuinely wound you at all. Use sparingly as siblings know your real buttons, so this response has to come across as an honest joke.
Example usage:
Brother: “With your small paycheck, I’m shocked you can still afford food each month.”
You: “Ouch, my feelings.”
4. Is that the best your two brain cells could come up with?
Asking if that mediocre effort is truly the peak of his creativity playfully suggests he can improve. Putting him on the spot lightens the tension as siblings often dish more what they can take. Saying it with a teasing smile takes the edge off.
It brushes off his words while challenging him for a better effort next time in their back-and-forth.
Example usage:
Brother: “Bet you failed that test since you spent all night playing games instead of studying.”
You: “Is that the best your two brain cells could come up with?”
5. You’re not funny, stop trying
For siblings who tease frequently, a direct but smiling “You’re not funny, stop trying” acknowledges his pitiful attempt humorously rather than confrontationally. The light delivery shows your ribbing as good-natured.
This only works if he knows deep down his jokes really don’t land, and you say it through laughter to keep interactions lighthearted.
Example usage:
Brother: “Let me know when you finally grow into those giant feet of yours.”
You: “You’re not funny, stop trying.”
6. If you’re done embarrassing yourself…
Saying “if you’re done embarrassing yourself…” after a weak insult implies his effort was pitiful. It gets the point across playfully that he needs better material.
Example usage:
Brother: “Nice to see even those giant pants can’t hide how skinny you are.”
You: “If you’re done embarrassing yourself…”
7. You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?
Questioning if he really considers his poor attempt at humor hilarious highlights its lack of quality. Challenge his perception humorously rather than confrontationally.
Example usage:
Brother: “Bet your online dating profile bio is still ‘looking for someone out of my league.'”
You: “You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”
8. Are we still on that? Let it go.
For repeated uncreative roasts, dismissing it as boring content signals you’re uninterested. Moving on lightheartedly maintains an enjoyable rapport.
Example usage:
Brother: “You know, people say you have a face for radio.”
You: “Are we still on that? Let it go.”
9. Oh brother…
Using his actual relation as a pun when he misses the mark punctuates his failure amusingly. It gets the message across without escalating things.
Example usage:
Brother: “I’d unfriend you on social media if we weren’t related.”
You: “Oh brother…”
10. Was that an attempt at humor?
Questioning if a pitiful roast even qualified as a joke highlights its lack of quality humorously rather than confrontationally.
Example usage:
Brother: “You should really consider a career change, something that doesn’t require a brain.”
You: “Was that an attempt at humor?”
11. Bless your heart, you tried
Saying “bless your heart, you tried” sarcastically acknowledges his failed effort through a light, Southern-influenced idiom. It diffuses the situation humorously.
Example usage:
Brother: “I’d be more scared of your cooking than mom’s on thanksgiving.”
You: “Bless your heart, you tried.”
12. You’re adorable when you think you’re funny
Calling him adorable for considering his poor attempt at humor funny highlights its failure lightheartedly. The sincere delivery pokes fun rather than insulting back.
Example usage:
Brother: “I see you’re still dressing better than your looks.”
You: “You’re adorable when you think you’re funny.”
13. Keep practicing, maybe one day
Suggesting he needs practice to improve his material encourages trying harder rather than giving up. It provides constructive feedback humorously.
Example usage:
Brother: “You look like you lost a fight with a treadmill.”
You: “Keep practicing, maybe one day.”
14. You’re hilarious, I forgot to laugh
Saying “you’re hilarious, I forgot to laugh” sarcastically conveys that it truly wasn’t humorous at all. It punctures any satisfaction he felt while keeping it polite.
Example usage:
Brother: “Maybe lay off second helpings, looks like you could lose a pound or two.”
You: “You’re hilarious, I forgot to laugh.”
15. New material, please
Hinting “new material, please” suggests his repertoire has grown stale and tedious. Lightly encourage more creative routines next time.
Example usage:
Brother: “What’s the Wi-Fi password? Oh, nevermind – you probably don’t have any friends over.”
You: “New material, please.”
16. That’s cute, but weak
Acknowledging his effort was “cute” while flagging its ineffectiveness advises more work is needed. Do so pleasantly to avoid harming your bond.
Example usage:
Brother: “I guess all the food delivery hasn’t helped you lose weight during lockdown either.”
You: “That’s cute, but weak.”
17. You’ll have to break out the index cards next time
Joking that he needs notecards to aid better improvisation suggests reliance on pre-written jokes. Keep frustrations cheerful.
Example usage:
Brother: “Nice shirt, is that how they distribute food at the homeless shelter?”
You: “You’ll have to break out the index cards next time.”
18. I’m disappointed, I expected more
Expressing sincere disappointment humorously conveys wanting funnier material without escalation.
Example usage:
Brother: “Someone should inform your barber their skills need work.”
You: “I’m disappointed, I expected more.”
19. Wow, you almost got me that time
Using sarcasm to acknowledge his nearly successful humor punctures any satisfaction smugly. Rephrasing preserves rapport.
Example usage:
Brother: “Please tell me you cleaned under those fingernails before cooking tonight.”
You: “Wow, you almost got me that time.”
20. Maybe next time champ
Saying “maybe next time champ” warmly acknowledges the failed effort, cheering for better luck ahead in a sibling-friendly way.
Example usage:
Brother: “Someone forgot leg day at the gym, huh?”
You: “Maybe next time champ.”
21. Sorry, my sarcasm detector must be broken
Sarcastically hinting one’s “sarcasm detector must be broken” implies it missed comedic marks. Lighthearted ribbing without insults.
Example usage:
Brother: “Nice to see the extra pandemic pounds haven’t come off yet.”
You: “Sorry, my sarcasm detector must be broken.”
22. Your jokes are about as funny as a root canal
Comparing humorlessness to something notably unpleasant conveys the worthy message mildly.
Example usage:
Brother: “Nice to see you finally washed all the grease from your hair.”
You: “Your jokes are about as funny as a root canal.”
23. Must’ve taken all night to come up with that zinger, huh?
Sarcastically implying minimal effort was required dismantles any pride in mediocre “banter.”
Example usage:
Brother: “Maybe cut back on second helpings at dinner, seems you could stand to lose a few.”
You: “Must’ve taken all night to come up with that zinger, huh?”
24. Cute, but it looks like the humor gene skipped you
Sarcastically implying he missed out on comedic talent punctuates failure lightheartedly.
Example usage:
Brother: “At least running won’t be a problem when the zombies come, with those long legs!”
You: “Cute, but it looks like the humor gene skipped you.”
25. Wow, you really put a lot of thought into that one, didn’t you?
This response is effective because it playfully mocks the quality of your brother’s roast, implying that it was unoriginal or lacking in creativity. It’s a harmless jab that challenges him to step up his game without resorting to personal attacks.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your haircut looks like a squirrel’s nest.”
You: “Wow, you really put a lot of thought into that one, didn’t you?”
26. I’m not even mad, I’m impressed you can string that many words together.
This response pokes fun at your brother’s intelligence in a lighthearted way, implying that his roast was surprisingly coherent for him. It’s a playful jab that challenges him to come up with better material while also acknowledging his effort.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your fashion sense is so bad, even a blind person would cringe.”
You: “I’m not even mad, I’m impressed you can string that many words together.”
27. Thanks for the feedback, I’ll be sure to keep it in mind the next time I care what you think.
This response is a witty way to dismiss your brother’s roast while also implying that his opinion doesn’t really matter to you. It’s a playful jab that challenges his authority while maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your new haircut makes you look like a mushroom.”
You: “Thanks for the feedback, I’ll be sure to keep it in mind the next time I care what you think.”
28. Ooh, someone’s been practicing their roasting skills. Keep it up and you might actually be funny someday.
This response acknowledges your brother’s attempt at a roast while also implying that it wasn’t particularly successful or funny. It’s a playful way to challenge him to do better while also maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your new shirt looks like it was made from grandma’s curtains.”
You: “Ooh, someone’s been practicing their roasting skills. Keep it up and you might actually be funny someday.”
29. Wow, I didn’t know we were doing stand-up comedy tonight. You should take that act on the road.
This response treats your brother’s roast as if it were a poorly executed stand-up comedy routine, implying that it wasn’t particularly funny or well-delivered. It’s a playful way to poke fun at his attempt while also maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your taste in movies is so bad, even Michael Bay would be ashamed.”
You: “Wow, I didn’t know we were doing stand-up comedy tonight. You should take that act on the road.”
30. Ooh, someone’s been spending too much time on Reddit. That roast was almost as lame as the memes you send me.
This response implies that your brother’s roast was unoriginal or derivative, likely inspired by something he saw online or on social media. It’s a playful way to poke fun at his lack of creativity while also maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your video game skills are so bad, even a toddler could beat you.”
You: “Ooh, someone’s been spending too much time on Reddit. That roast was almost as lame as the memes you send me.”
31. Wow, you really put a lot of effort into that one. I’m almost impressed.
This response sarcastically acknowledges the effort your brother put into his roast, implying that it wasn’t particularly successful or impressive despite the effort. It’s a playful way to challenge him to do better while also maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your fashion sense is so bad, even a blind person would cringe.”
You: “Wow, you really put a lot of effort into that one. I’m almost impressed.”
32. Wow, someone’s been working on their comedy routine. Keep it up and you might actually get some laughs someday.
This response acknowledges your brother’s attempt at humor while also implying that his roast fell flat and wasn’t particularly funny. It’s a playful way to challenge him to improve his comedic skills while also maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your new haircut makes you look like a lost member of a boy band from the 90s.”
You: “Wow, someone’s been working on their comedy routine. Keep it up and you might actually get some laughs someday.”
33. Ooh, someone’s been spending too much time on the internet. That roast was almost as lame as the memes you send me.
This response implies that your brother’s roast was unoriginal or derivative, likely inspired by something he saw online or on social media. It’s a playful way to poke fun at his lack of creativity while also maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Example Usage:
Brother: “Dude, your video game skills are so bad, even a toddler could beat you.”
You: “Ooh, someone’s been spending too much time on the internet. That roast was almost as lame as the memes you send me.”
Conclusion
Sibling banter is an art form, and mastering the perfect comeback is a skill that can strengthen your bond with your brother. Remember, the goal is to keep the exchange lighthearted, witty, and harmless. By following the examples and guidelines in this article, you’ll be equipped to handle your brother’s roasts with grace and humor.